December 2011
78 posts
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Fic: Open Your Eyes
Title: Open Your Eyes (I see your eyes are open)
Author: Alan Black
Setting: One Week
Pairing: Rob + Kon
Warnings: None really
Notes: Title taken from the Erasure song Always.
Dedication: For Neko. You’re a wonderful friend and a fantastic editor. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me this year; I’m not sure how I would have fared without you. This is my gift to you...
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Alright, Kon. Let's talk.
Granted, you have a several things going for you. A winning smile. A great body. Hell, I even dig the fade—it works for you. You’re a nice overall package, Kid. A real catch.
All things considered, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by the attitude you’re throwing at me. It is you we’re talking about.
But just give it a chance, will you? This can work. You may...
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Dear self doubt,
We really must stop meeting like this.
It just isn’t good for me. I thought we could be friends, but I think maybe we should just go our separate ways. Your timing is awful; you consistently show up at my door at the worst possible moments. You ignore my repeated request that you leave. Instead, we end up having tea and talking about the weather and I never get anything accomplished.
I...
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In a nutshell--
Many thanks to those who gave me suggestions for my not-so-secret project. The collective brainstorm was very helpful; I greatly appreciate it. ;)
Now that I’ve got an idea, I’m heading off to work on it. I have about a week to pull a Tim Gunn and make it work (remember, Alan—edit, edit, edit). So I may not be on much in the interim. Questions and comments and things can be...
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My inspirational love affair with music
I should know better than to listen to music at work, but my job can be so damn monotonous, especially after the holidays.
Goddamn Pandora radio. I hate you like an ex-lover. Our relationship was always passionate, tempestuous, and bad for us both. It was ill-timed, but the sex was fantastic. Even years later…every time we’re in the same vicinity, it happens all over again. The...
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When life imitates art
Neko: i'm drawing so much cleric. i'm totally distracted by this thing i helped mold.
Me: All you had to say was 'What if Jason didn't die' and that was it. BOOOM. Earth 82.
Neko: yeah, and 'what's that fighter/healer class called?'
Me: *groan* ...god, it's all true. I'm just a bard.
Neko: hey man. bards make the worlds go round. how else do you get to eat for free?
Me: I enjoyed rolling high on my charisma and intelligence, but would it have killed somebody to give me more in the constitution and dexterity department?
jeli-bean asked: I'm curious, how strict of a vegetarian are you? My sister has been a vegetarian for over a year now close to two years, and the only type of "meat" i guess you could say, that she eats is fish. And I know pretty soon she'll ween her way off of that, but with everything else she stopped cold turkey. Did you do anything like that? And are you vegan? or just strictly no meat?
ciatri asked: Tag, you’re it! Here are the rules: Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them. No tag back. c:
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Totally true.
Neko: what's the cutest version of jason todd you've ever read in comics?
Me: The cutest? I don't know...pre-Crisis Jason was pretty damn cute. He was like the love-child of Robin and Speedy--Roy's red hair and bratty attitude, Dick's acrobatic ability--and infused with that Silver Age 'Golly Gee' goodness we all know and love.
Neko: and that's why dick wanted to adopt him so badly. he was reclaiming his lineage.
Me: Exactly.
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Neko, don't read this. I'm serious. Skip over...
Everyone else may join me in my office…
Ok, here’s the deal—I need help.
I’m at a complete loss. I really want to write something for my good friend and editor. Not only is it the holiday, but her birthday is at the beginning of January. I need to think of something. And quick. Like, speedster quick.
She puts up with me, my crazy deadlines, my weird hours, and my...
Anonymous asked: Any chance of some more Dick/Damian from you in the future? I know you're super focused on Bruce/Jason, but I was wondering if big D and little D would get some fic love anytime soon. ;)
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I am experiencing the ultimate in speedster love...
Can I declare a holiday? Can it be ‘hug a speedster’ day?
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“Oh, great. Swell. So now not only do I eat like a pig, but my jacked up...”
– Barry Allen, The Flash TV Series
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Thank you, Flash
I’m sitting here watching more of The Flash TV series and the episode Honor Among Thieves has me convinced that Barry Allen had sex with his college archeology professor. As if the dialogue wasn’t enough, it’s delivered with enough sexual tension to tranq an elephant. It’s so weighted. So harlequin.
And I swear to god Barry blushed. I know they’re really pushing...
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Fic: Connection
Title: Connection
Author: Alan Black
Setting: Earth 82
Pairing: Bruce/Jason
Warnings: Frank talk about sex.
Notes: What started out as a crack conversation between Cleric and Oracle somehow became a burgeoning mystery. I think the two of them want to be the Hardy Boys. Or the Bobbsey Twins. I’m not entirely sure. I guess they’ll let me know.
Connection
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“Thanks, O. Babybird’s a fucking machine, just so you know. In case you...”
– Cleric, Earth 82
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Santa Stalking [or Yes, Bart Allen, There IS a...
gothamsecretsantas:
Happy Holidays to the most excellent colors-and-impluse! Thank you for sharing all of your wonderful creations with us! Best wishes for a bright New Year!
♥ perfect-tea
This is amazing. My god…Nightwing. I can’t get over how cute Impulse is under SB’s jacket. But then you had to have SB and Rob posed like that. The way they’re leaning into...
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You know you take your fandom seriously when...
I just spent the last twenty minutes thinking up an original riddle for the Bats to solve.
We lost a soldier in the war
What once was nine is nine no more.
A careless word spells live or die
But the silent millions never lie.
Can you figure out where the Riddler’s current base of operations is in Gotham City?
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dear alan,
perfect-tea:
i got you something kinda creepy for hanukkah. please revel in the irony that you will receive it on christmas.
lovingly,
~ your editor
Dear Neko,
Your ironic sense of humour is irreplaceable. With as many fics as I’ve had you proof in the last week, I’m surprised whatever it is didn’t get pushed back to the new year.
I look forward to your creepy gift. (I...
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“The things in life that don’t kill you make for great stories.”
– Me, relating the last 24 hours of my life with my roommate
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2am dialogues with my editor.
Me: I'm so torn. I want to write Jason's BJ conversation with Oracle. But I want to write speedsters.
Neko: So...you want to write blowjobs and speedsters?
Me: Essentially...yes.
Neko: Well why not write blowjobs for speedsters? It's like toys for tots, but better. You're a multi-tasking machine, Alan. Make it work.
Me: I R Tim Gunn. I R write all the things.
Neko: U am Bizarro #1. Go to bed. Just go to bed.
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Meet the Toast-Rs
“Dude!” Conner called across their apartment. “I need you. Like, right now. Can you open the door?”
“What?” Tim muttered, getting up from his desk.
“Seriously, man—like now. And if you could open a window, that’d be awesome.”
Alarmed, Tim hurried into the kitchen. And promptly began to cough.
“Conner? What is that...
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The adventure continues...
“Are you sure you didn’t mean convection oven, Tim? I don’t even see a confectioner’s oven.”
“I never said that,” Tim grumbled, huddling into the hood of his coat in an attempt to block out the garish overhead department store lighting.
The clone furrowed his brow and stared at the row of toaster ovens. ”Yeah, you did. I heard you.”
...
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My life as a comic book character.
“Wait, Conner…you can’t do this alone,” Tim protested, putting a hand to his head.
“Dude,” the Kryptonian replied, pulling on a shirt. ”You’ve got a migraine. We need a toaster oven. It’s Christmas eve—the whole country’s about to shut down, man. It only makes sense that I go get it. It’s not rocket surgery.”
Tim...
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Earth 82 (Preview)
I wanted to do much more than this, but the knowledge that I have to see my mother tomorrow was enough to sap my inspiration. Which sucks because I was on such a roll. At any rate, this little preview will have to suffice. I need to step away from it before I let my anxiety fuck it up.
And the boys really need to let me know if they’re ‘going steady’ in the traditional sense,...
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Tip from my editor #521
“Well. Write the first part, then write the second part like one continuous thing, but only edit the first part for posting tonight. You’ll be ahead for tomorrow’s posting since you’ll be tasked with that most egregious thing, dude.”
My editor knows how to communicate with me. When in doubt, insert a Bill & Ted reference and be excellent to each other.
robinfan asked: I never knew that Earth-81 took that much time. I want to declare a Alan Writes Fanfiction For As Long As He Needs Year so bad. In that time all your fans would work at your job, pay bills, and do anything you want us to do including cooking and getting family members to leave you alone. Also complimentry hot dates and coffee when every you need it. The Fandom loves you and we appreciate all you...
Anonymous asked: Much as I'm enjoying the adorable Earth 82, I'm missing the eating-jerk-off-fest of 81. Is it on hold?
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Even in tragedy, there is laughter.
It’s endlessly frustrating when I go fact-hunting for Jason Todd. With everyone so obsessed with how he died, it’s nearly impossible to find facts about his life, especially ones that are accurate and not molded to fit his post-death image of the rebellious death-deserving Robin. Which really just pisses me off and isn’t helpful at all.
Yet even as I scroll through post after...
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Fic: Falling
Title: Falling Setting: Earth 82 Pairing: Bruce/Jason Warnings: Tiny Timmy being way too cute for his own good. And kissing. Notes: I have decided this universe is going to be everything the DCU should have been. Jason doesn’t die, Batman knows how to smile, disco’s still in fashion, and Tim’s the cutest goddamn kid that’s ever worn the Robin suit. Clerics, as portrayed in...
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Classic avoidance
J: Dude. I know it sucks, but you're gonna have to do something. Your mom's called, like, five times, left five messages--man, she even got you on Facebook. I think she's coming Friday whether you want her to or not.
Me: I know.
J: I mean, what the hell have you been doing in here, anyway?
Me: I'm taking refuge in my happy place.
J: ...what is that? Is that a Bible?
Me: Not quite. It's the Batman files.
J: Sweet...so, how do you wanna handle this? I can shove everything in a closet--no pun intended--but you've got to do the dishes...
Me: I've got a better idea.
J: Yeah? What is it?
Me: Canada.
J: Roadtrip?
Me: Yup.
J: Sweet. I'm totally coming with. You're not leaving me here with that crazy woman. I can't believe you're related.
Me: That has yet to be proven.
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Thank you
Just wanted to say that I love and appreciate everyone who’s sent me a message recently (and by that, I mean not very recently at all, but in the last few weeks) and I intend to answer them all—probably after the holidays when there’s not so much going on.
(Not to mention how it’s slightly unfair that my characters, far from being satisfied by the screen time I allot them,...
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“I have christened you baby bird. Now shut the fuck up and go fly.”
– Cleric, Earth 82
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Fic: Chances
Title: Chances
Author: Alan Black Pairing: Bruce/Jason Warnings: None that I can think of Notes: This Jason gave me so much sass. He’s even gone so far as to demand his own universe. We’re still in negotiation over it, but if it does happen it’ll be Earth 82. Dedication: For Teal. This took me many more months than I’d originally planned, and the boys tried to sabotage...
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Fic: Sleep
Title: Sleep
Author: Alan Black
Pairing: I don’t know how to answer this. Superficially Bruce + Jason.
Rated: Sad, for everyone I’m hoping to have fiction for the next eight days to celebrate the holiday, but this was really not how I intended to kick things off. This is what happens when I don’t get to write for long stretches of time. I apologize in advance.
Sleep
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WIN FREE STUFF!
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♥ tea
Even though the gods conspire against me, I will always try for this.
…and when I ultimately fail by a thin margin, I will shell out cash for your lovely services.
Either way, you win. ;)
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Too long
I’ve been away from my writing for so long now, even the speedsters are piping up to coax me back.
And they’re good, let me tell you. Very good.
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Masochism:
listening to the soundtrack of Under the Red Hood while working on a project that has nothing to do with Jason Todd or Bruce Wayne, let alone their relationship with one another.
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Little known fact: My roommate is a huge Sailor...
No, J. It was not ok to replace the B:TAS theme in my head with Sailor Moon. I resent that I know all the words. And it’s your fault.
I will never forgive myself for introducing you to that when we lived together twelve years ago. It was supposed to be my retaliation against all the cracks you were making at the time regarding my love for animated Batman. I thought giving you pretty...
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I'm procrastinating the end of this project so...
Though if someone asks, I’m ‘on a coffee break’.
Next week, when the holidays have run their course and the whole world calms down, you know what I’m going to do? After I sleep for, like, three straight days?
1. Write. Everything. All of it. Probably all at once and incoherently at first. But that’s what editing is for, right?
2. Answer all of my emails and...